In this post, it will be the last before the New Year. So I’m going to bitch a bit more, also I have a plan for the next year. Yeah if you kept up with me this year with my posts, then you know I’ve done that a lot this year. It’s what I do best, but with my last post about…
Category Archives: dreams
Many of us writers write for the love of writing. Others do it because they can and get paid well to do so. I write because I have many ideas that I want others to read them. I write my blog the same way for ideas I have things to say, and I end up just get one or a few people who ever read it. So how can I make an impact? What do I need to do? I sent my “mentor” this email with my script attached. He has yet to respond. Really, I don’t know if I have a “mentor.” Or did my email get put in spam?
“I know it’s been a while since my last email. I’m still working on new ideas and always going back to Ring of Wishes. I think I’m going to learn with your help in which I will know how to modify my new ideas and make them the best as I make Ring of Wishes perfect. Again, I know my success resides with me, and you can help only so far. I just keep dreaming and hoping, but that is not work and just an idea of future life when I should only think of the present. I hope and sometimes pray that your help paves a way for me, and I reach the success I so badly want.
I hope you are having a great Holiday Season thus far.”
Now I can pay money to Stage32 and pitch to managers, agents, and others, but I did this last year and the only thing it did was put me in debt and a couple of requests. Nevertheless, here I am a year later, still in debt and no help from a manager or other.
I want to write and be a success, but we all need a little help. I know if I got some, I would pay it forward, but until then I can’t do anything when my hands are tied.
My mother read my letter to Ellen, and I don’t know who else. I don’t get any comments, so I don’t know if anyone other than her reads my blog entries or even glances at them.
How can I contribute to my family financially? It is by get a script sold, or a writing job of some kind. Maybe I should just sell my body on the side of the road?
This has been a couple of months coming. I’ve well, given up in writing and just felt sorry for myself, but things are changing.
A couple of months ago:
I thought for a month now that I could do a short film about me. It might be viewed more than my blog because I’m not writing so no errors can be pointed out other than how crazy I look on film. I thought about trying to fund my own shorts to be noticed for my writing that way since my scripts aren’t to the level that is what people don’t shoe you away for. I know my writing sucks, and I know people are done with me having a pity party for myself and to move on. People say that would be noticed more if you did more work and showed progression throughout that work. However, it’s hard to get back in the saddle and in the mode of nonstop writing and working. I’m confused on what I should work on should I reedit Ring of Wishes? Should I work on my adaption of The Legacy or should I work on a faith and family hopeful script The Love of One?
I’m trying not to have a negative attitude about life and financial needs. I’ve tried to start a donation on my blog then with a GoFundMe as well as the Facebook plugin app FundRazr, and now a Fundly. No, I’ve raised nothing and the first two I set up for issue 2 of The Legacy comic book, but no takers. Why? Well, it’s not for an illness or my dogs (which I’m maxed out there Care Credit to fix some teeth and old lady issues (Sweetie). I don’t have the family that gives, okay well, that is not the truth it’s certain family members. Moreover, we all have our problems, and we all have our hopes and dreams. However, are they worth dreaming and hoping about anymore? Should, I just give up?
I did decide I needed to bring some money into this house and help out. That was a joke; the jobs I applied for came back with an email saying I’m not what they’re looking for. I answered all their questions. I know I’ve been out of work for a while now. However, they didn’t want me. So who does? I don’t have the greatest writing and motivation, but come on I know I will when I get paid for normal labor, so I’m motivated more. So, come on man?!
We all have dreams of what we would do with lots of money, but why don’t those who have the money want to know how we would use it and end up giving it to us? I don’t know.
Well, reading this, I still feel the same way. I feel that I don’t contribute enough, and I don’t write enough. I want so many things “If it’s to be it’s up to me” but I don’t seem to be doing anything. I’ve decided to do a podcast, but would people listen and judge me on my verbal English grammar. Will I have anything to contribute to someone’s life or give him or her tips on dreams?
With the recent suicide of Robin Williams, I’ve noticed that my life hasn’t had bad news as in his case. And I’ve never thought of suicide (where I took action) a lot. One’s bad news or life is not bad or worse than the next it’s how you deal with the news that tells if your life is terrible. Such as, I give up on writing because family says to, and no money is being made. Should I write or should I not? Like the quote before “If it’s to be it’s up to me.” I need to put the effort into it. Moreover, with my new mentor he said for no fee he would help me but I’ve done nothing for a month since we last spoke.
COME ON ME! GET TO WORK!
This year has started off just great. In June, college is over without a degree or a career aspect. I have to find a job that I know I’ll hate. I’m now out of another med and can have a psychotic break at any moment. Dreams are that, just empty dreams. Nothing coming true how much I hope and pray. Or work on it each day. I say I’m a writer without anything published or anything known to man. My faith in God and of people is gone. Suicide is not an answer, but is on my mind. Giving into doubt and endless wonder. Holding me here is my wife her family and part of mine. If God is in control, why does my life feel so out of control? This year has just begun, but I want it over.