Category Archives: work

Unbroken Broke Me

I went to a movie this weekend with my mom. She hadn’t gone for two years. She and I chose Unbroken. Yes, my wife went and my nephew. The movie was great, but it made me think about my life.
I know I say I’ve been through hell and back but different people have different levels of…

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Scrooged

I missed posting this before Christmas so here it is.
When it comes to the holiday season and holiday movies, you think of classics like It’s a Wonderful Life and a newer movie National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. When you think of another classic A Christmas Carol, I like to watch an…


Getting Noticed

Many of us writers write for the love of writing. Others do it because they can and get paid well to do so. I write because I have many ideas that I want others to read them. I write my blog the same way for ideas I have things to say, and I end up just get one or a few people who ever read it. So how can I make an impact? What do I need to do? I sent my “mentor” this email with my script attached. He has yet to respond. Really, I don’t know if I have a “mentor.” Or did my email get put in spam?

“I know it’s been a while since my last email. I’m still working on new ideas and always going back to Ring of Wishes. I think I’m going to learn with your help in which I will know how to modify my new ideas and make them the best as I make Ring of Wishes perfect. Again, I know my success resides with me, and you can help only so far. I just keep dreaming and hoping, but that is not work and just an idea of future life when I should only think of the present. I hope and sometimes pray that your help paves a way for me, and I reach the success I so badly want.

I hope you are having a great Holiday Season thus far.”

Now I can pay money to Stage32 and pitch to managers, agents, and others, but I did this last year and the only thing it did was put me in debt and a couple of requests. Nevertheless, here I am a year later, still in debt and no help from a manager or other.

I want to write and be a success, but we all need a little help. I know if I got some, I would pay it forward, but until then I can’t do anything when my hands are tied.

My mother read my letter to Ellen, and I don’t know who else. I don’t get any comments, so I don’t know if anyone other than her reads my blog entries or even glances at them.

How can I contribute to my family financially? It is by get a script sold, or a writing job of some kind. Maybe I should just sell my body on the side of the road?


Sleep Apnea Can Cause Mental Illness

With bipolar disorder cropping up from celebrities to politicians, you may be wondering what truly affects these individuals. Yes, a mental illness is typically a misfire of chemical and electrical waves within the brain. Nevertheless, is there another, underlying cause? One cause can point to a varying disorder called sleep apnea, a condition that can create a mental abnormality. Does the lack of oxygen to the brain due to lack of sleep cause a mental illness?

If you snore, the two greater factors of blame are pointed to either, obstructive sleep apnea or obesity. The lack of oxygen to the brain can cause one to be tired during the day, inciting drastic mood swings. In most cases, individuals suffer from depression and inconsistent sleep schedules, resulting in lying awake at night. Sleep is imperative to the overall general health of an individual. Finding the serenity of slumber should be natural, without one becoming dependent on sleep aids.

If you are prescribed a muscle relaxant, your lack of sleep can actually become worse; especially, sufferers of obstructive sleep apnea. It’s not advised to have certain muscle relaxants including medications, such as: Valium, Ativan and Klonopin. These prescriptions can cause the surrounding airway muscles to collapse- causing sleep depravity, resulting in mood changes and chemical imbalances.

Medication for many, is imperative to live a functionally, normal life, but many contemplate what can be done to lessen the side-effects they feel? The first suggestion is moderate exercise and changing your diet. For some, it is not that simple and many should look into acquiring a prescribed CPAP. This machine produces the air that individuals need when the body is having complications during sleeping. This machine has been used on individuals who have undergone a sleep study and suffer from conditions that require its use. Speak to your doctor who will determine the machine type, they will also determine the air pressure that you need to stay consistently asleep. Once sleep is obtained normally, the mental balance can once again become stabilized.

Sleep deprivation is a condition millions of Americans suffer from. Psych Central advises individuals can suffer from memory loss, a disorientation of rationalization, resulting in severe mood swings. When your body is tired, it becomes dehydrated and this combination can be a deadly mix to your mental stability. Some individuals with a deeper severity of sleep loss had reported hallucinations and slurred speech. Dr. Yasinski of Yasinski Psychiatry states,

“Without adequate oxygen to your brain, the ability of psychiatric medications, exercise and healthy living to improve depression or bipolar disorder is decreased and thus many patients present as ‘treatment resistant’ when in reality they are resistant only due to a co-morbid sleep apnea disorder that has gone unrecognized.”

A sleep study is highly recommended for individuals who suffer from sleep disruption and mental disorders like bipolar. This painless test can gauge the level of severity from children to adults. If sleep apnea is the cause of the mental illness, treatment can be recommended and prescribed by a doctor, leading to stability of sleep, mind and life.

Forrest L. Rawls
http://www.yasinskipsychiatry.com/sleep-apnea-worsens-depression-and-bipolar-disorder/
http://www.psycheducation.org/BipolarMechanism/3ClockRole.htm
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/13/8-effects-of-sleep-deprivation-on-your-health/


Getting Back To Work

This has been a couple of months coming. I’ve well, given up in writing and just felt sorry for myself, but things are changing.

A couple of months ago:

I thought for a month now that I could do a short film about me. It might be viewed more than my blog because I’m not writing so no errors can be pointed out other than how crazy I look on film. I thought about trying to fund my own shorts to be noticed for my writing that way since my scripts aren’t to the level that is what people don’t shoe you away for. I know my writing sucks, and I know people are done with me having a pity party for myself and to move on. People say that would be noticed more if you did more work and showed progression throughout that work. However, it’s hard to get back in the saddle and in the mode of nonstop writing and working. I’m confused on what I should work on should I reedit Ring of Wishes? Should I work on my adaption of The Legacy or should I work on a faith and family hopeful script The Love of One?

I’m trying not to have a negative attitude about life and financial needs. I’ve tried to start a donation on my blog then with a GoFundMe as well as the Facebook plugin app FundRazr, and now a Fundly. No, I’ve raised nothing and the first two I set up for issue 2 of The Legacy comic book, but no takers. Why? Well, it’s not for an illness or my dogs (which I’m maxed out there Care Credit to fix some teeth and old lady issues (Sweetie). I don’t have the family that gives, okay well, that is not the truth it’s certain family members. Moreover, we all have our problems, and we all have our hopes and dreams. However, are they worth dreaming and hoping about anymore? Should, I just give up?

I did decide I needed to bring some money into this house and help out. That was a joke; the jobs I applied for came back with an email saying I’m not what they’re looking for. I answered all their questions. I know I’ve been out of work for a while now. However, they didn’t want me. So who does? I don’t have the greatest writing and motivation, but come on I know I will when I get paid for normal labor, so I’m motivated more. So, come on man?!

We all have dreams of what we would do with lots of money, but why don’t those who have the money want to know how we would use it and end up giving it to us? I don’t know.

Now:

Well, reading this, I still feel the same way. I feel that I don’t contribute enough, and I don’t write enough. I want so many things “If it’s to be it’s up to me” but I don’t seem to be doing anything. I’ve decided to do a podcast, but would people listen and judge me on my verbal English grammar. Will I have anything to contribute to someone’s life or give him or her tips on dreams?

With the recent suicide of Robin Williams, I’ve noticed that my life hasn’t had bad news as in his case. And I’ve never thought of suicide (where I took action) a lot. One’s bad news or life is not bad or worse than the next it’s how you deal with the news that tells if your life is terrible. Such as, I give up on writing because family says to, and no money is being made. Should I write or should I not? Like the quote before “If it’s to be it’s up to me.” I need to put the effort into it. Moreover, with my new mentor he said for no fee he would help me but I’ve done nothing for a month since we last spoke.

COME ON ME! GET TO WORK!


Passion

When people talk about passion, it is an yearning for something that one puts their whole heart into. They just can’t get enough of that something or someone. Well, this I thought I had about writing spending the past 20 years reading and learning, but another class and another editor says I have a long way to go. What the hell have I been doing these 20 years just wishing I was a writer and sitting on my hands? No! I just read and write. Why am I not better at what I thought I loved or was passionate about? Why, do I keep getting told I have a long way to go? People reading this those very few might see that this what I’m writing now had errors in it. Such as grammar, punctuation, spelling and others. Why can’t I get the help my cousin Wilson Rawls did?

You may have read some of my other posts, and if you have you may read a lot of me bitching and moaning about things. You might be sick of it well I’m sorry. I’m here to shed light on my life no matter how boring it might be. I have wanted to be an actor, a script writer. I wanted to be a great artist. Why did God allow me to live when my appendix ruptured? I wanted to do something more than guy bagging groceries, but lately I think that is where my life is heading. I wanted to do YouTube videos, but they disabled my account because someone clicked repeatedly on a video and of course, when I disputed this, I didn’t write it well enough for them to reactivate it.

When I was in high school, I wanted to play football that didn’t work. I played baseball as a kid who went nowhere. I wanted to sing and be in a rock group, that didn’t work. I think I’m smart, but am I? I can’t dance. I can’t is so my word these last few days. I wanted to do voice-over work but living in Idaho, there is no school or help of any kind and no money you can’t move to a place that can help.

So, my passion for what I want to be and do is gone, and I don’t know where my life will go. I know my faith is so small an ant is too big.

So what do I do? Where do I go from here? I’ve done the college thing ran out of loans and no degree to show for it. Those friends with their own businesses won’t hire me because I live to far, but the main thing is I have no education. I’m not fit I’m not hot I’m not female, so there are many things against me. So, please tell me what to do? My passion is gone. People say others have it worse, but why do I feel I’m living in the worst? (This I wrote off my meds. Still trying to get them.)


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