Tag Archives: God

2014 Bitch Please!

In this post, it will be the last before the New Year. So I’m going to bitch a bit more, also I have a plan for the next year. Yeah if you kept up with me this year with my posts, then you know I’ve done that a lot this year. It’s what I do best, but with my last post about unbroken then you know that things need to change within my mind set.

So begins the bitching! I hate living the way I do, but don’t do much to change it. Nevertheless, I have nothing really yet people want me to give them things, but yet, they have things yet give nothing. Why is that? Is it because we have faith in God more than those that have because we want to make it to tomorrow? I want to help those who have nothing yet I have nothing to give. I want to have my dreams come true, but I’ve been told that’s not realistic so stop dreaming.

When out driving, no one uses their blinker, or they have a missing break light or head light. People run red lights and blow through stop signs. People pull out in front of you and then go slow only for the next person to speed. Has man’s intelligence taken a hit? I know so. We have become dumber, and no one seems to know what to do. Ugh!

We all live our lives the way it falls, or we make it the way we want it. 2015 is my year to change my mindset and to change me. I want to write movies so why not make my own. I can come up with a short to show my writing and directing. I will also show how talented I am with no budget.

We all have a gift from God, and this is mine but not knowing anyone in the industry. It’s hard to become known. In addition, I may have missed opportunities within my email, because I archive them. I don’t want to be disappointed, because I don’t have the resume to support what I say I’m good at.

Another bitch! I have OCD, and I rock in any chair but family used to have rocking chairs until I came along they got rid of them because they didn’t want for me to rock. WTF? I was driving in the snow, and I have a guy/gal tailgating. The weather deems us to slow down and be cautious yet, no.

I know people will say bitch please I’ve got more problems than you. How are you dealing with them? I want to know!
My many goals for the coming year have been shortly told above, but I need to make my dreams my goals, and my goals need me to work harder even while becoming smarter in my craft. I need to be more involved with what I say and do what I say. I will not sell my soul to the devil. I will wake up early-on Sunday and watch church shows since I can’t handle a huge group of people. I try to keep my mind busy, so I won’t freak out, but then I miss out on the message.

I hope to blog more and hope to capture an audience more than me and my mom (yep I do have a handful now). I will take more pictures of OUR dogs. Yes, I’m married if you didn’t know that already. Yes, she deals with my shit.

So Here’s to a new me and new year!



I went to a movie this weekend with my mom. She hadn’t gone for two years. She and I chose Unbroken. Yes, my wife went and my nephew. The movie was great, but it made me think about my life.

I know I say I’ve been through hell and back but different people have different levels of hell. Mine compared with the lead and life story of the movie, my hell is nothing. He had to deal with more mental and physical challenges than I have ever gone through.

My hell has been more financial and mental than physical and mental.  I’ve struggled with “am I good enough of a writer?” Will my words be read or seen on film? This has plagued me for years and now that I’m financially burdened. Broke beyond broke living off the government and not able to get a job (been without for far too long and no references) I don’t know where I’m going to get motivation. Oh wait, I just saw Unbroken. “If it’s to be it’s up to me!” Not the quote said throughout the movie, but I like this one.

I need to motivate me. If I don’t want to live off the government, or if I want my writing to be seen I need to work hard and persevere. I must work I must do I must read and learn I must write.

As far as the movie as a movie, it was good. It was a bit long but instead of telling the story, they showed it. When trapped on the raft it was a bit gruesome but not so much to divert your eyes. I was interested and entertained.

I would recommend this to anyone who wants motivation to live life to the fullest and to stop bitching about how life these days are too tough to live because we have never gone through what he went through.

Getting Noticed

Many of us writers write for the love of writing. Others do it because they can and get paid well to do so. I write because I have many ideas that I want others to read them. I write my blog the same way for ideas I have things to say, and I end up just get one or a few people who ever read it. So how can I make an impact? What do I need to do? I sent my “mentor” this email with my script attached. He has yet to respond. Really, I don’t know if I have a “mentor.” Or did my email get put in spam?

“I know it’s been a while since my last email. I’m still working on new ideas and always going back to Ring of Wishes. I think I’m going to learn with your help in which I will know how to modify my new ideas and make them the best as I make Ring of Wishes perfect. Again, I know my success resides with me, and you can help only so far. I just keep dreaming and hoping, but that is not work and just an idea of future life when I should only think of the present. I hope and sometimes pray that your help paves a way for me, and I reach the success I so badly want.

I hope you are having a great Holiday Season thus far.”

Now I can pay money to Stage32 and pitch to managers, agents, and others, but I did this last year and the only thing it did was put me in debt and a couple of requests. Nevertheless, here I am a year later, still in debt and no help from a manager or other.

I want to write and be a success, but we all need a little help. I know if I got some, I would pay it forward, but until then I can’t do anything when my hands are tied.

My mother read my letter to Ellen, and I don’t know who else. I don’t get any comments, so I don’t know if anyone other than her reads my blog entries or even glances at them.

How can I contribute to my family financially? It is by get a script sold, or a writing job of some kind. Maybe I should just sell my body on the side of the road?

My Voice

In the day of light and the night of day, I’ve been thinking a lot. I didn’t know what to do to change my website to be able to gain more readers and more fans. I didn’t go ahead and do a podcast because I don’t have any intelligent or engaging information to give. No tips or tricks. Just a bunch of crap from life and well poetry, writing and a lot of dreaming. Therefore, I decided to change the song that I put up on my website for a little intro about me and dreams (this hasn’t been done yet) . I know many don’t want to hear me blah blah blah all over the place, but I still needed my voice to be heard. Something that doesn’t happen a lot in real life.

I wasn’t blessed with a pretty face and good body. I wasn’t blessed with a rich or well-off family. I wasn’t given everything my heart desired. The only think I got, and it was the best was LOVE. I may not have money now, or am I well off. I don’t have all my dreams at my feet, but I do know how to love and be compassionate. However, Love can’t pay the bills.

I don’t know why God gives some people things right out of the gate, and the others have to work so hard to get it and put full faith in Him. I don’t know why, but I’m still dreaming, wishing, and praying that things turn around for me and my family soon because I sure would love to give the abundance that God gives me at that time to others.

It’s been a couple of weeks when I started this entry. I’ve been debating on what I should do with my life. Then I got an email from an old friend, saying he wanted to start doing The Legacy comic book again, but only if he could write too. I took a couple of days to think about it, but I’ve decided that I would give in and let him write with me. He will help make the story better, or I at least hope.

Some of my family wants me to quit my dreaming of a movie deal and get back to the real world, but I put my faith in God. He didn’t save me in 94 for nothing. I have a purpose. I have my dream, which is his dream for me. I only need one person to give me a chance to believe in my talent. I don’t need a lot of money just enough to pay some bills, and the work will get done.

I hope you keep with me on my Journey to Success. I know if I keep at it one-day someone will see what I have to offer.

God Made A Mistake



We’ve all heard the stories of the Bible how God created Heaven and Earth and Man. Then we have all heard the stories of Darwin and how a Big Bang created the universe and dinosaurs and man. However, what if both are true. You may ask how can they both be true? Well, this is the true story of how the universe was created and how God made His only mistake.

When God sat on his throne, he became bored and decided to create beings that could stand by his side and have intellectual conversations with. Therefore, he created his angels, but these angels weren’t the only thing. He wanted to create something miraculous. So, he clapped his celestial hands and that became the Big Bang. It was like rolling the dice or making a wish. God didn’t know what would come of it, so as we all do he hoped for the best. Then came stars, galaxies, and the rest of the universe. He wanted pets’ creatures that would be as humongous as, he and that wouldn’t talk back or bark orders of any kind. Those were the dinosaurs. Then he thought of man, but it wasn’t the inelegant man of today it was of those mindless apes. Yes, Apes. Creatures that look like man, but weren’t they had the inelegance of the dinosaurs. With this, they evolved and gain knowledge, but still they were not putting their faith in the one that created them. The Dinosaurs were mindless animals that fought each other and had no will to change. Man had the will to change, but still lacked many things. God was upset at his mistake and decided to start over. With this, he destroyed all he had created. The angel Satan whom had been God’s right hand being, became angry and hated God for destroying such great things as those mindless animals. Satan rebelled and when God created, the new Earth, He had the mind of changing heaven. He cast Satan and his followers to the spiritual depths of hell. Satan became the one whom would oppose God and persuade God’s people to make mistakes as God once did. We aren’t perfect because God saw what he could become. Therefore, he changed and made sure he would never make another mistake again. He gave us commands to follow, so that we would be perfect, but with the persuasion of Satan things so perfect didn’t last. God gives us trials to see whether we will be persuaded by Satan, or if we keep our faith and eyes to him. He knows we can’t be his perfection, but we can try the best that we can and have the faith he has his hands on us pushing us along. He also has given us with the power of Christ to ward away Satan and his lackeys.

Nevertheless, who believes this story to be true? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I believe in God.

Disclaimer: This story is fiction and should be taken as such if you take it at reality that is your own decision.

Getting Back To Work

This has been a couple of months coming. I’ve well, given up in writing and just felt sorry for myself, but things are changing.

A couple of months ago:

I thought for a month now that I could do a short film about me. It might be viewed more than my blog because I’m not writing so no errors can be pointed out other than how crazy I look on film. I thought about trying to fund my own shorts to be noticed for my writing that way since my scripts aren’t to the level that is what people don’t shoe you away for. I know my writing sucks, and I know people are done with me having a pity party for myself and to move on. People say that would be noticed more if you did more work and showed progression throughout that work. However, it’s hard to get back in the saddle and in the mode of nonstop writing and working. I’m confused on what I should work on should I reedit Ring of Wishes? Should I work on my adaption of The Legacy or should I work on a faith and family hopeful script The Love of One?

I’m trying not to have a negative attitude about life and financial needs. I’ve tried to start a donation on my blog then with a GoFundMe as well as the Facebook plugin app FundRazr, and now a Fundly. No, I’ve raised nothing and the first two I set up for issue 2 of The Legacy comic book, but no takers. Why? Well, it’s not for an illness or my dogs (which I’m maxed out there Care Credit to fix some teeth and old lady issues (Sweetie). I don’t have the family that gives, okay well, that is not the truth it’s certain family members. Moreover, we all have our problems, and we all have our hopes and dreams. However, are they worth dreaming and hoping about anymore? Should, I just give up?

I did decide I needed to bring some money into this house and help out. That was a joke; the jobs I applied for came back with an email saying I’m not what they’re looking for. I answered all their questions. I know I’ve been out of work for a while now. However, they didn’t want me. So who does? I don’t have the greatest writing and motivation, but come on I know I will when I get paid for normal labor, so I’m motivated more. So, come on man?!

We all have dreams of what we would do with lots of money, but why don’t those who have the money want to know how we would use it and end up giving it to us? I don’t know.


Well, reading this, I still feel the same way. I feel that I don’t contribute enough, and I don’t write enough. I want so many things “If it’s to be it’s up to me” but I don’t seem to be doing anything. I’ve decided to do a podcast, but would people listen and judge me on my verbal English grammar. Will I have anything to contribute to someone’s life or give him or her tips on dreams?

With the recent suicide of Robin Williams, I’ve noticed that my life hasn’t had bad news as in his case. And I’ve never thought of suicide (where I took action) a lot. One’s bad news or life is not bad or worse than the next it’s how you deal with the news that tells if your life is terrible. Such as, I give up on writing because family says to, and no money is being made. Should I write or should I not? Like the quote before “If it’s to be it’s up to me.” I need to put the effort into it. Moreover, with my new mentor he said for no fee he would help me but I’ve done nothing for a month since we last spoke.


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